Thanks for asking, but I had a crappy New year's Eve. My ex had been trying to get me to take him back, asked me to go out with him...and I took great pains to be stunning for him. A long, glittery gold clingy gown that showed some cleavage, my hair in gold waves down the backless portion of the dress, strappy heels, etc.. With heels I'm about 5' 10", and since I'm 124 lb, and have been working out for the occasion, I have to say I looked a bit above the usual standard for the party-goers in our small town.
He treated me like he hardly noticed, and brooded the whole time, looking off in the distance.
I felt like crawling into a hole.
We agreed that it just wouldn't work, and I told him I hoped he'd be very happy with the 24-year-old he's been writing to in the Philippines, but not to be shocked if she's not so interested once she sees how he looks in person, age-wise, when they meet. The guy doesn't have a driver's license but thinks he deserves a limo. He lives in a fantasy world, dominated by computers and grandiose, self-aggrandizing thoughts....and I'm wary of meeting anyone through this damn thing....I don't want to hook up with someone who constantly has to be planted in front of a PC screen for stimulation.
That's a "deal-breaker" for me. Computer addiction, or secret porn usage, web-cam girls, ongoing personal ads and the like....not acceptable once a relationship begins. Computers have added a whole new dimension to relationships between men and women...new ground-rules for behavior are emerging....and its easy to "hide" what one wants to. Hiding anything undermines the fabric of trust....haven't you found that it's just really hard to get close, trust, and decide what to reveal, and what not to? Revealing too much can scare someone off as well as not revealing enough.
What a dilemma.
It takes real strength to keep love intact.
Maybe I should just live alone.
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